Lost In ...

March 12, 2022

I am not sure if I can put my thoughts into the right words. Words are never neutral as we are bound by emotion in every action we take, with an anxious mind as mine simple statements/thoughts will take you spiraling down the bottomless pit. Long thoughts with a small pinch of worries are hard to summarize as they tend to lose their importance or hold on to the individual (read as me), it is soothing and tempting to dump your thoughts onto our journal or an article like this one. I have not grown/matured so much to have an epiphany, life is both harder and simpler with swings happening with every hour of the day.

Wise say time heals everything but all we do is forget our pain and our wounds never heal. Time makes you ignorant to your pains disguising as healing. Strong will and mind can adjust to any environment (read as a situation) but at what cost? trying to impress others, adjusting to generation-old mentalities, and whatnot. Life as I understand (or wrongly understand) is a mere reaction to the situations one faces and some of them become our regrets which imprint our tiny minds scaring one’s character and future life choices.

We seek humility and humbleness in the world yet we are so wrong in some of our acts. It is so easy to blame and judgmental about rich, powerful people over infamous Twitter threads or an hour-long rant with your friend yet we cannot guarantee our conscience when we become one. I do not know if situations shape us or you shape the situations that make us but at the end of the day, it is just you (and your soul if believing in it).

Life is very short and ephemeral, neither our thoughts nor souls are immemorial. I am still learning to appreciate the beauty of it, with so many losses in close circles I am scared of my tiny life and much tinier time of it. Empathy, Humility, Memonti Mori, Amor Fati, and what not to keep your mind tied to so you come to appreciate the beauty and time in it but here I am lost in the translation of my thoughts and my experience.

There is no linearity or theme to this piece and it will never be complete.

And if you are seeking something from this please do not, this is not wisdom to anyone.